Thursday, February 9, 2012

Granny Analogy

Happy Acres Home for the Aged

Welcome to your new home!
 The follow is a list of our expectations for your elderly loved one.

Elderly people are no longer growing, so they don't need to be fed as often as youngsters and we feel two meals a day is sufficient. Since regularity is key to preventing Geriatric Metabolic Chaos, feeding times will be regular, but we are very flexible about the time:
6-7am and pm, or 7-8 am,pm.

A regular routine like this will prevent constipation, indigestion, diabetes. These are all common problems among their elderly, but in our experience these ailments can avoid that through regularity in eating and sleeping habits.

If Granny refuses to eat at the meal set out for her, make her wait until the next one. We can't have people snacking all day and night. Even Alzheimers clients quickly can learn this fact.

Bedtime or naptime will be two hours after the meal. Alzheimers clients can become easily confused and agitated. Regularity in sleep habits will minimize this. When a client indicates a desire for staff attention during night hours, staff will use the following method to evaluate need.

1. Listen - for the type of call. This will help us evaluate the client's normal pattern and distinguish the different tones and patterns in the voice.
2. Take Action based on what you have heard and concluded. Just remember, sometimes the best action is no action at all. For example, if granny is clean, fed and ready for bed, let her learn to fall asleep in her new surroundings. If you try to comfort a client, you have only succeeded in manipulating her sleep - digging that big, black hole of endless sleepless nights into the next several years.
3. Take note of how long your client cries. It might seem difficult, but you may note that the client's outburst really only lasted 10 minutes.

As a matter of hygiene, all male clients must be circumcised. They may become very agitated during the procedure so restraints will be used. It may appear very traumatic at the time, but since the elderly don't feel pain in the same way as younger folks, they are just reacting to the strange circumstances than exhibiting any reaction to actual pain.
In any case, it doesn't matter - they won't remember it.

1 comment:

  1. Brilliant... love it! Well done. This shows so clearly how idiotic and uncaring 'Babywise' truly is.